I feel like I’m stationary.

It’s so difficult to keep going when everyone around you is in fast motion. And you, you’re stationary. No matter how much you try, what you do, you can’t move. And while the world is racing around you, you’re stuck struggling on your feet.

I feel like I am stuck. My world has come to a halt. I have been fighting for so long but have made so little progress that sometimes it feels like no progress at all. Friends, family everyone around me seems oblivious to the struggle. It’s like i’m fighting an intangible fight, and the little that i do achieve is anything but obvious. Its like I’m oblivious.

There is anger building inside me, frustrations homing inside me. And i’m letting it fill me up. For once i want the anger to burn me down. For once i want to complain. But I’m alone in my battles. There is nobody around. Who do i turn to? Who do i complain. There is nobody, only me who is screaming on her own.

No one can hear me. No one can understand because to the second person it seems like i’m just failing to deal with everything. They don’t understand how the situations around me is failing itself.

When all the love you give out doesn’t find a way back to you. When you drain yourself for the betterment of others. When you give everything that it leaves you empty. And when all this doesn’t eventually return back to you. You feel lost. You feel hurt. I’m hurt.

Maybe it’s too soon to ask for it. But then why do i feel like i’ve been fighting for longer than i can remember? Nobody is a friend, nobody is a best friend. As long as you’re sane and robotic alongside the pace of this world. You’re happily accepted and celebrated. The day you stumble on your toes, your out. You’re just another disappointment no ones ready to own.

SN’18

I feel like I’m stationary.

You.

And if you think you can change them

Know that you can’t.

And if you think people can change you

Know that they can’t.

They can only help you find who you truly are,

Assist you in becoming who you always wanted to be.

So it is you my friend

Who’ll have to change.

It is you who’ll have to find a way.

{SN.11.3.18}

#Reality

〰People are all what we have, yet it is them whom we avoid the most.  SN

*Letting Go*

You have to let go of the people in your past friend

They were never destined to stay.

You may have gotten attached to them, you may miss them

But their part in your life had come to an end, they had to go away.

Don’t ache your soul with the wait that they might return

That life may cross your path again.

Maybe they’ll show up at the places you go,

or that their car might cross outside your door.

It will just worsen the wounds and revive all felt pain.

Don’t burden yourself with the question Why?

It has been answered so many times before.

You can only see what is before you, but not what is not shown.

This that; what will be unfit for you, will not be a part of your life long

For your creator loves you the most,  trust him when he says “I know”.

The chapter they had walked in, has far finished.

Your life has not stopped, continue to live.

Don’t punish yourself each day, don’t torture that little brain.

You will meet new people ,

And the one who will Stay.

Don’t beg before your knees, for them to return,

You have to learn the idea of letting go.

Dear, listen to the sounds of Nature

They are already living the next day.

You have to move on, for life has already accelerated

They might have promised, but they can not stay.

Life has planned so much, God has set dates

But how will you welcome them, if you continue to look back on the days?

You can breathe, you can still smile

Don’t sadden yourself over passed time.

You are Young, wild and free

Let the Sun crisp your skin,

and the light illuminate your dreams.

Let yourself whisper their name,

and allow the wind to carry it away.

Hold your head up high, you are not bad luck, you are no one to blame.

You are just learning to rise through Life’s rough game

Don’t static your pace, you are the one meant to stay,

but for people who come and go,

Its best you to learn to let them go.

SN’16

This piece is for a very close friend. I’m sure you will realize its for you, i did promise to write for you.

Yes, you have to let go, relieve yourself from the constant pain of old memories. Cherish the times you’ve spent together, for rest, just let it be the way it is. Lets move on together, from the people we loved and cared for in the past. Lets for once, accept that what ever happens, happens for our own good. Out of all the people, i would know that, because i lost some people too. 

MERCILESS

So mercilessly did you

Converse her dreams.

All the glitter, the glamour

Into welled up streams

Of tears flowing down

Her rosy cheeks

 

Oh so mercilessly did you

Take all from her away.

Like even the stars she had counted

Had never really existed.

And the clouds from which she had swung

Now sent thunder crashing her way

 

Oh so mercilessly did you

Silently destroy her inside.

The courage, the strength,

Which pumped through her once

Now seemed to be nowhere

As if that part was never really hers.

 

How could you be so cruel?

So bitter, so cold?

Living obliviously

To her shivering little soul?

Scared, so scarred

With all your blunt words

 

Oh so mercilessly did you

Let your words stay.

Killing heartlessly each time

Memories visited her way.

–SN16

Living good memories

Sometimes, some events, some people that had been a part of you at some point in life leaves a great mark behind when they’re no more. What role does it play and well why does the mark stays?

We choose to let it lay. That is it. For all the memories of your childhood, all the memories of your youth, those which continue to stay with you, are the ones you allowed to linger own. To hold onto you with a fragile grip yet every time it loosened it, you kept it alive, lingering on by remembering it. 

Some of these memories continue to contribute positive in us, the present us. Reminding us of the lessons learned, advising to adopt new approaches, alerting the consequences of repeating old mistakes. All in all pushing us in becoming better everyday. Careful and sensible. 

While some of these memories which have stayed behind, do nothing but harm in a way oblivious to us in the present, revealing its destruction done over panels of time. What kind of memories and thoughts are they? The memories of guilt we keep inside, not allowing to forgive our own selves, when people have. The feeling of envy, greed and lust, the memories of our childhood when we couldn’t get what we want, when we had to make sacrifices, when we had to give away ours to those in need. All these which we let home inside to build up into something dangerous, some parasite, continuously telling us to do bad with those who did that with us. And we train ourselves in becoming villains, in the life story of the people we are connected to. 

So be aware of all what you allow to be a part of who you are. A part of who you will be in the future. Letting your past, and the memories made, guide you is not a bad thing at all, only when you know which part of your past and what memories you want to tie to. 

It is after all man who wrongs his own soul. 


“It is the spectator and not life that is really the mirror” 

~Oscar Wilde

A Sincere Advice.

Stand alone in the storms when they finally find your way. Don’t expect for a shelter offered by an umbrella besides your own. If a helping hand is brought forward be grateful, but if it isn’t, don’t blame the world for it. The world will not take upon itself another burden while it’s struggling to handle its own. No one is to be blamed for all your soakings in the rain. Let the thunder continue, and let the lightning fall, you either stand forth on your heels high, or you drench in the drowsy dark.

This way or the other, you’ll either walk out strong, by fighting your way through the winds, looking for your own umbrella, your own self, seeking your own help. Or, you will walk out proficient. Experienced and trained for the upcoming storms, prepared well beforehand for all the battles to be fought.

Either way you turn out, you will remain free from the favors of the people of this world. Those which they do not allow to go unnoticed.

Be strong, independent, and most of all believe in you.  You’ve walked through the storms before; you can walk through them again. All you need is just your strength and see how relieved you’ll feel. Burden-less, Blameless and free.

Carbon Monoxide and You

The percentage of Carbon Monoxide in air marks only 0.2 % compare to oxygen which is 20.95%. However if this small amount of Carbon Monoxide reacts with the hemoglobin in blood, regardless of the ample amount of oxygen in air, can cause poisoning in the body. But hemoglobin plays it smart. It knows what it wants and does not let others merge along.

Similarly, negativity, no matter how many positives lay around, will not fail to TOXICATE you as long as you allow it to be a part of you. Keeping inside as much as 0.1% of the 0.2% negativity around will kill all the oxygen you have collected in your life, destroying without you even knowing.

Be aware of how even the slightest of antagonism can harm you. You have got to make the choice. Either permit it to enter in a little proportion, allowing it to kill silently, or shut the gates close, to remain spiritually awake and fulfill the dreams you’d seen as a child.